"The heart is the most important thing in the world. Therefore, look after it well." Ajahn Mun (1870-1949)
27 November 2009
Lovingkindness and Compassion: Energies so needed in our World
I wrote about the Lovingkindness Practice with the Buddhist traditions previously. When directing the energy of Metta or Lovingkindness towards suffering and pain in our lives, it is said that Compassion is the natural, automatic response of our hearts. The traditional description of Compassion is a physical sensation of "the Quivering of the Heart." Compassion invites us to come close to suffering without striking out, backing away, or turning away. When it is pure, the intention is not to add another drop of suffering to this world that suffers so greatly--a natural unfolding...an organic expression of the Heart. We often want to back away or escape the pain, but without compassion we cannot get close to our actual lives. All our lives are made up of the 10,000 joys and sorrows, no life is exempt. If we were to push away the sorrows, we would actually be denying and not living half of our precious life...the only vehicle that is given to us for Awakening. Compassion reaches for our hearts and guides us into a felt, internal experience that we are all, without exception, interconnected. It is said that our spiritual practice flies on the wings of a great bird. On one wing is the Wing of Wisdom or Insight from our meditation practice, and the other wing is the Wing of Compassion. It cannot fly without both wings. We cannot truly take in the Truth spoken by Wisdom unless it is spoken with Kindness and Compassion. The ground of Compassion is with ourselves. How can we take care of, or love and assist others in their healing when we are not taking care of ourselves, when we have not started to explore our direct experience with love and healing for ourselves? In addition, by offering ourselves Compassion and Kindness we are giving ourselves the Love that we may not receive from the larger culture. When we cultivate the feeling of Compassion for ourselves, we more understand how to cultivate Compassion when we find ourselves in difficult situations with others. These invitations into Compassion are embedded even in the meditation instructions on the breath. Again it is an incremental practice. As we notice the breath and the mind inevitably wanders, the invitation is not to judge our experience...and even if judgment were to arise, is it possible not to judge the judgment. When we are judgmental, irritated, angry, even ashamed--can we be non-judgmental, accepting, and kind with that difficult person--inside of us, too? There is a difficult person in all of us. The more we are gentle with that internal difficult person, the more we will be gentle with others. Seeing suffering, compassion arises. That is the Bittersweet nature of Compassion. Compassion does not exist without the experience of Suffering. They are two sides of the same coin. They are the 10,000 joys matched to the 10,000 sorrows as twins in a common experience. Seeing Suffering in such a way, and seeing how much Suffering there is in the world, when the experience of Compassion is pure, the intention is not to add another drop of suffering to this world that already suffers so greatly. It is the natural unfolding and expression of the Heart. The near enemy of Compassion (that which seems to be similar to) is Pity--feeling superior to or in control of one's life, and feeling that other people's Suffering is because they lack that control. Another near enemy (within my own experience, not the traditional teachings) is a sense of Codependence--the obsessive drive to "fix" the difficult emotion or make suffering go away or make it better. The far enemy of Compassion is cruelty. Cruelty like a hot ember that we don't know how to let go of. While anger or hatred is the wishing of suffering on someone, cruelty is the enjoyment of other people's suffering. This perspective invites us to explore our deepest intention when we are angry--is it to be cruel? Or have an open heart? Sati, the Pali word for Mindfulness, can also be translated as Remembering--remembering to come back to our Highest Intention of who we see ourselves to be. The word Compassion is derived from the Latin words "pati" and "cum." to "suffer with" --to enter into Suffering with other being. But we are no different than anyone else in our lives. Are we able to be with the suffering within ourselves as well? In that direct experience of Suffering, we begin to see the Suffering of all beings.
Thich Nhat Hanh has these words:
Since I was a young man, I've tried to understand the nature of compassion. But what little compassion I've learned has not come from intellectual investigation but from my actual experience of suffering.
The proximate cause of Metta (that which come right before the arising of Metta) is recognizing the goodness in self and others. The proximate cause of Compassion: seeing the effects of suffering. As mentioned above, without suffering, Compassion would not exist. This is the ironic blessing of suffering. That it is a door into the liberated heart. It is not easy. Compassion requires strength, resilience, and courage. There is a fearlessness that is required because it necessarily takes us beyond our zone of safety. To open to the pain of others means we acknowledge the pain of our own lives. And we do it because in opening to injury or suffering we actually open to our strength. Be compassionate to where you are, this is the process of the heart stretching beyond old patterns of defensiveness, reactivity, avoidance. The Metta Practice is incremental, like the ripples of a pool radiating outwards to touch all the people that we know, and eventually all beings. Compassion Practice radiates inwards to support those who are suffering, those who are in need. Compassion radiates inwards towards suffering. We are only separated by six degrees. Even when we don't think we will make a difference in the world, it is so important not to turn away from the pain of the world. By turning towards the pain of Gaza, or Darfur, or Burma, or Tibet--our energies radiate inward so that those beings directly in the midst of tremendous suffering and pain can stand in the Fire. Our Compassion Practice is as important for them as it is for us. And even if we think Compassion makes no difference--it prevents us from being indifferent. It prevents us from falling into the deluded mind-state that we are separate and that our suffering is also separate--therefore "their" suffering is not "mine." Our Life is hard, our work is hard, do our hearts also need to become hard? In the identifying with hardness, comes hardness--if we think that is all there is. Compassion offers us the full experience of the 10,000 joys and sorrows, not just the sorrows. One exercise that you can do anywhere, at any time, with anyone is to visualize a person and repeat phrases like these:
Just like me, this person is seeking happiness for their life. Just like me, this person is trying to end suffering in their life. Just like me, this person has known sadness, suffering, illness, and pain. Just like me, this person is seeking to get what they need. Just like me, this person is learning about life.
Do it while you are on public transportation or going to the bathroom or taking a shower...give yourself of the gift of re-aligning your mind to your Heart...otherwise, what else would you be thinking during those times? Is anything else more worthwhile? As we deepen our practice we realize that there is an understanding of suffering in a universal way, not just a personal way--not how affects ME, but how it affects all of US. There is the story of Maha Ghosananda who has been called the "Gandhi of Cambodia." He is especially remarkable given the fact that his family had been exterminated by the Khmer Rouge who had also killed most of the Cambodian monastic sangha. Only about 3,000 monks survived out of 60,000. Even before the Killing Fields were over, Maha Ghosananda worked for reconciliation of all the factions throughout the time of his activism. He took Peace Walks through the mine fields, not knowing where the mines were...guided by his Lovingkindess practice. He said:
I do not question that loving one's oppressors -- Cambodians loving the Khmer Rouge -- may be the most difficult attitude to achieve. But it is a law of the universe that retaliation, hatred, and revenge only continue the cycle and never stop it. Reconciliation does not mean that we surrender rights and conditions, but rather that we use love in our negotiations. It means that we see ourselves in the opponent -- for what is the opponent but a being in ignorance, and we ourselves are also ignorant of many things. Therefore, only compassion and mindfulness can free us.
and
If you can't find happiness in the face of difficulties, what good is spiritual practice? Be happy, even in the face of genocide, in the face of famine, in the face of the AIDS epidemic. You have to be happy because this is the gift that we can give to people, it is an act of Compassion not to be overcome.
May all beings be free from pain and suffering and the causes of pain and suffering
Many blessings,
Larry
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